Dark night of the soul??

Dark night of the soul-- what is it for, why is it necessary? Why do some experience it and others don't?

Who decides of this occurrence in anyone's life? I mean I would not have signed up for it knowingly-- yet I learned much from it- one that scripture is not just a literal thing but stories to help piece a picture together.

I mean my husband asked me for a year and a half daily to marry him and I declined this every day and was happy just being a friend though I seen and or sensed something. Yet one day a yes came out my mouth and I put my hand over my mouth and said oh shit, because I like to keep my word. Yet this has been revealed to me as a spell. A spell? How so, as I knew that my now ex husband was one who did not value anything but the flesh, if you will and I am no ones brood mare- then comes friend to bring a few pastors to my house to tell me how women were to be--which I allowed because she was a friend-- Their words to me were met with what I will term wisdom from myself-- yet one said he seen a child coming-- I was like right away um no-- because I had my husband fixed, plus I went to prayer and was told I would not have physical children but seen the spiritual children-- finally I succumbed to their women can only testify and have to wear a dress or skirt 24/7, and can not cut their hair..which before all this happened I heard within grow your hair which after the fact innerstood it meant to grow my strength and faith. All the while I was loving them and within 3 to 4 weekends was made to fill like a piece of crap, because what I heard within in their eyes was I had been sent a spirit of delusion.. so then it went to my hearing inside, drink the cup daughter it is bitter, but drink the cup the blessing is in it-- I was like where is the blessing in this? I lay prostrate on the floor weeping and feeling as if someone was standing in my chest and ripping my heart open, to where I said if this is how You felt then show me how to give up the ghost-- this pain was unbearable and if I only had a taste of it, then all I can say is I do not know how Christ endured such-- nonetheless I heard within me, drink water, and I am energy, which made me think back to the chemistry days and how I sort of blew up my hand doing an experiment with salt water and pure water, and how salt water can carry a current and pure water can not which left my hand with soot on it, though I use the term blew my hand up. All while this was happening I also hear within that gird up your loins of your mind, and seeing me on a cross, and trying to figure out what this is all about-- Then I hear people depend TOO much on TOO many things and do not depend on ME for their substance- and later I heard people kill My people and think they are doing Me a favor. I finally asked them to leave my house or they could come and my friend could attend and Kevin as well but I did not believe as they believe, and so I would not be attending -- then my friend said I was a satan, because I still allowed them in my house, I said no, I let them come for you, and will tell them to no longer come back--You could feel the jezebel spirit nonetheless one of the pastors called me when he was headed for Dakota to preach and I was telling him I was High on the Most High and drunk with His goodness-- to which he said you are about to make me stop my car and run around it--- I said what is stopping you-- do it-- and he said he literally stopped his car and got out and ran around it a few times and then had to sit for a minute before he could move on. The love of God is very intoxicating and I had experienced it many times before in prayer and or meditation, and it seemed to have effected this pastor-- I had seen one of the pastors wife in a dream and called him up and said Father told me to tell you to lay hands on your wife's stomach-- He said what and so I told him again, and he said how did you know, I said know what, he said that my wife had cancer-- I said I am telling you to do what the Father told me to tell you.Months later she died, then the pastor who sent these guys to my house at my friends request, had his son die, and one of the guys that came up with the pastor later died-- I was like what is going on here-- did I do that cause I loved them, not hated them, but just did not believe as they did. Then it dawned on me they turned me away from hearing the Father within, by being like Peter and cutting off my ear, and so their intentions toward me were not good, and they would say not to hang around those sinners etc..Placing themselves in a hierarchy and everyone else was of no value-- sad but three last their lives for following one man instead of looking within-- nonetheless this dark night went on for 3 and a half years-- with my father in law, and my then husband-- many things I seen that I could not unsee-- but at the end of 3 and a half years, I heard within me, you made it through your tribulation, to which I said WHAT? I heard again, you made it through your tribulation of circumstances crown of life-- well I melted at that...but it was the start of me coming out of the fog and darkness they put me in, and yes I forgive them, but I do know how powerful a persons words and intent can be when they send something to you that is not true. Is there something about the boomerang effect where someone says something evil towards you or even thinks it that it returns to their own head???