Tribulation

On 19 April 2010, my husband and I were waiting for a brush fire we had set to go out. As we sat I heard these words-You made it through your Great Tribulation-- I said What?? The Lord said to me again, you made it through your tribulation of circumstances. I melted at these words as several scriptures were going through my mind. I then heard Crown of Life, to which I melted all the more. I began to weep with tears of joy to this news, and left my husband to watch the fire as I went inside to meditate..
I started pondering these words because I recognized them from the book of Revelation, of which I also had some of the visions that were within as well. It was then that I realized that the tribulation period is three and a half years or 42 months.

As I would read and study it was as if my eyes were opened to contents of it that I had never heard or seen before, and caused me to realize what had transpired
in my life since Oct. of 2006.
Before Oct 2006, I felt I had walked and talked with the Lord as did Enoch. He delivered me from an attitude of being one that would cut you as to look at you. He did all His corrections in me with love and patience. All this He did without the aid of the church.
 Then a friend had some church people pay me a visit, and I was told some things that were not true, but thought that since these people had been preaching for 37 years that surly I must be rebelling and so since the Lord had brought me to a place that I loved Him more than anything, I wanted to comply and please Him.
When I would question them, about women never cutting hair and having to wear a dress/skirt 24/7, and that they could not preach, teach etc., I told them I did not believe them because this is not what the Lord had told me, they said that I had been sent a strong spirit of delusion. So I tried all the more to conform to what they said, though I could see that the fruit with which they bore was not like the Lord. A darkness over took me and took everything that I had received of the Lord to include my joy.
For 3 and a half weeks I lay prostrate weeping and trying to understand what was happening only to hear the Lord say one thing and the enemy say another
and I determined to win the battle. The enemy would try to get me to take my life, to which I had no control and had to literally with what little strength
of resistance I had take the bullets from my husbands gun to keep from using it on myself.
 Then he would torment me with other words such as I told you there was no place for you, go on and take your life etc.. And Fathers words were, you have
a secret place and people kill My people and think they are doing me a favor. For everything the enemy said the Father had something positive to say. It felt
like there was someone standing in my chest and tearing my heart into. I even asked Him to show me how to give up the ghost because I wanted to go home and be
with Him.
The Lord said to me, drink the cup daughter, it's bitter, but drink the cup, the blessing is in it. So as I neared the end of this 3 and half weeks on the floor,
the Lord showed me His righteousness and I saw how filthy ours was upside His, and then He spoke words that sounded like thunder and said DON'T COME
TO ME WITHOUT THE SACRIFICE. I did not understand what I had done and the voice that was so gentle in correcting me suddenly was very loud and reverberated.
As time went on my prayer life dwindled because I was scared to speak to Him. I left the church and when they questioned this I told the that I did not agree
with what they said, not to mention they had no answers as to why all this came about, nor did they stay with me to see me through it.
I felt like I had been raped and then abandoned. I had believed man and therefore they became my high priest, instead of God.
 I use the term raped because of the offspring that I produced as a result of this encounter, which lasted for 42 months. I became covetous, angry,
bitter, unforgiving, hateful, prideful and the list goes on. I hated these children that I had produced as a result of this encounter, and I recognized them because
these were my children/fruit that I had before ever coming to the Lord, which He had done away with.
I was scared to pray but would make quick attempts at it, so His voice would not thunder at me, yet all the while in my heart I was saying I love You to Him
because He had caused me to love Him with a love that I can not explain, and that was all that I could remember, was how He loved me and caused me to love.
 My thoughts toward Him were good, because He was faithful to keep that in remembrance for me.
I did have various visions and words from time to time, but not like before when communion was constant and I heard everyday.
Like I said everything left me, including the ability to call on Him, because I had become darkened in my thinking as the ones who brought the spirits. I was infected and diseased, spotted and blemished, because I became one with the unclean spirit and thus defiled my marriage bed of the mind that once belonged to the Lord.
I finally reached a point where I just said to the Lord please speak to me, even if it is in a thunderous voice, but still only a few things here and there to which
I would not have an understanding of. Words like will you take back the air for Me? People depend too much on too many things and do not depend on Me for their substance. When I would hear these few words, the beastly carnal mentality would intercept them to the point I just started writing the things down and not try
to understand them. He said will you go blind that you see? I said yes even if it takes my physical sight (carnal thought again). He then quickened me to fast carnality,
to which I was trying to understand what carnality was, and what my flesh was doing that it should not do only to understand that carnality is the way we think about
things. I was in a mess, darkness in me around me taunting me, and my protection was the Lord Himself. Much more happened in these 42 months (time of tribulation, which He opened my eyes to see that this is what I had experienced and was NOT good).
In this period I had many of the visions that John had had, but could not make sense of them until He would open my eyes from the darkness.
In this process, I woke up speaking Aliyah, and said to myself what does this mean, but yet was filled with this joy and kept repeating the word Aliyah. So I
looked up the word to find that people made their aliyah to Israel and that it meant to ascend, and I could not understand it as neither of them made sense to
me. Then I was reading in Revelation, and realized that John was caught up in the spirit and one of the things that was said to him was COME AND SEE, in other
words come up a little higher in your thinking (spiritual thinking/aliyah) and see (be inspired).
I have had visions of angels blowing trumpets and scroll with a seal and woman dressed in white, with a golden color hair, and a crown on her head blowing a white
trumpet, an ox/bull, the symbol for the first letter meaning Alpha.He made me to understand that the way we perceive Him is how we think of Him,
if carnally, with fear and dread, and if spiritually as He has described Himself with peace and love and life.

He made me to see that the book of Revelation is steps for spiritual growth and not necessarily a check off list of events in the natural.
He let me to see that the beast resides within man and has his throne on the heart unless we allow God to rule from this throne. It is the great white throne,
where all our thoughts and words are taken to be judged before they are spoken and or acted upon, and or cast down as vain imaginations.
As I pondered the beast issue, it became clear that from Eccl.3:18, I said in my heart concerning the estate of the sons of men, that God might manifest them,
and that they might see that they themselves are beasts.
I understood that our carnal thinking is nothing more than beastly thoughts/attitudes, unless the mind is regenerated. Again, I have never heard the message of revelation spoken of in this way, but too many things just made sense as He would show me.
So then I understood what try the spirits by the spirit meant-- Scripture says that God is love and that He went about doing good etc.. So if it was pronouncing
death then it was not from God, because He came to give life, if it was to steal, then it was not from God because He came to bless, if it was to destroy, then it
could not be from God because He came to create/build.

In fact after the darkness was destroyed, it was then my eyes were opened to see that this is the only thing He came to destroy, was the darkness, the fears,
wrong thinking and attitudes of those who would but come to Him.

In the beginning of it John even writes, for the time is at hand, which makes it for every age and not just and end of the age. The martyrs, they are under
the alter whining about how long Lord, how long till we be avenged ( I did this myself)-my eyes were opened to the fact that none of the martyrs have ever said
anything like this--their words were FORGIVE THEM FATHER, THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO or LAY NOT THIS SIN TO THEIR CHARGE. I received this revelation because in one of my visions, the people who spoke the lies were sitting in a corner, while I was at a table eating with the Lord and many other children.
 When I first seen this vision, my carnal thought was, they picked a higher seat and the Lord sent them to a lower one, thinking that Father had punished them. Then my eyes were opened to see that it was not Father, who forgives( uplifted spiritual thought), who punished them but me, so I asked Father to take them from the corner and let them eat that I held nothing against them. Self pity had been destroyed within me(because of the uplifted spiritual thought of forgiveness) and I was starting to look more like my Father, able to love and forgive, not love my life(carnal mind and ways) unto death.
Father is sitting back on His throne, where He would have stayed, had my beastly carnal, judging mind not abducted Him. I learned that every time we do not
take a thought to Him and have it judged, then we open the door for covetousness and greed and war and every false way of thinking to enter in and operate within
us. He is now gaining more ground in my heart and will have the whole heart, as I give to Him my thoughts and He either approves and they are acted on or disapproves and are exchanged for His.
Again we have another thing that caught my eyes--in rev.13:11 we have a lamb with horns?? and speaks like a dragon?? Lambs do not have horns, nor do they sound like a dragon, this is our counterfeit comes as an angel of light, so we need always take every thought and thing spoken to us to the Lord before we believe it.

I understood that the battle of Armageddon is in the mind and the reversal of that battle is only Revelation of the power of the Love of God. I had to reach a
silence in heaven (my thinking) and He was able to reveal Himself to me and has won the victory. Before this I was captive in my mind/babylon by the dragon thoughts/fear, unbelief/erroneous thinking. These dragon thoughts/resistance to the truth gave power to the beast/carnal mind which protected me in the fortress of babylon's bestiality.
I saw that the seat/domination of the beast is the human will/way and that the prophet of the beast is manipulation, and out of their mouths comes the propaganda,
and slimy perversions of the truth/a plague of frogs, and devilish suggestions/spirits of devils working signs and wonders, designed to influence the thoughts to make
war.
Na. 3:11-There is one come out of thee that imagines evil against the Lord, a
wicked counselor.

But the Revelation of who Christ is, and who we are in Him, is an end to the way of evil. He is trying to show us the reality of who He is and the power
of His Spirit to remove wrong thought patterns and bring us to oneness in Him. If we will but come, He will, give us life and open our eyes and ears that we may walk humbly with Him. His mercy seat is a seat of loving kindness.

He gave to me a vision of Him wiping away my tears, and spoke to me and said, I imputed My righteousness to you, and then I understood that in my bed of affliction with the harlot/confusion and mother of the carnal mind, He was also there trying to woo me with His love, though I had allowed someone to influence my thoughts.
This love silenced all carnality. This bed of affliction became as if His bed chambers and He repeated to me, I imputed My righteousness to you and I heard the words consummation as He gave to me His righteousness and received my sins to burn as a burnt offering.
He killed all her children, which are anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, hatred, judgment of others and every unlawful thing that she produced in the seed of her
kind, and gave to me His seed, of love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance. I love the names of the children
He gave to me, and He told me, be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth.

The enemy on several occasions said to me, you love Jesus, and I said yes, and he would say after all He put you through you love Jesus.. I said yes I love Jesus.
In my tribulation Yeshua/Jesus was faithful to me, though it felt as if He were miles away from me. Many times the enemy tried to take my life in that period, but
God was faithful.
The power of God is love, pure unadulterated love and what the enemy means for evil He means for good.
As touching on rapture/caught up, I guess you could say that I am no longer caught up in things spoken anymore, but caught up in His promises, yeah, I have been raptured in my thinking, because the carnal mind is an enemy to God, and this is the working of His hands. I want to look and be like my Heavenly Father.